On the brink of Valentines...

It's Valentines day in 1,2,3, 4 days time. My second Valentines day. When I say second, I don't mean second Valentines day I'm celebrating, but the second one which I would have liked to celebrate, and yet again, didn't. With noone. Feeling that noone could have been someone. Not for lack of trying too, the first time, I asked the wrong person; the second time, sigh.. It's kinda hard... I hesitated too long to make a move. In retrospect, it's much easier to ask this particular girl out in person, rather than doing it through friendster messages, SMS, phone calls.. the lot. You know for sure that you've got someone special when it feels like this, and to lose it, because of bad timing.. well.. it's heart breaking. And what a time to lose it. On New Years day. Too-rah. Boo-hoo-hoo. Talk about elation becoming mixed feelings becoming gut-wrenching despair.

Note my January 1st post. Don't sense any great despair there, do ya? If there's one thing i pride myself in being able to do, is that I can cloak my feelings deep within in my heart. I hide it well. People say I don't have a temper. That I don't get angry. It's not so much that as.. my cool is my meal-ticket. Look at Marlon Brando in The Godfather. You can't buy that sorta cool. Sometimes there's simply no point in getting worked up about things, but sometimes you just can't help it. There are things that you should get worked up about, and then there are the other things.

But I'm not alone being alone this Valentines day. Some of my friends have their loved ones kept far from them, others sense rejection from the ones they so greatly adore. But we have each other. There are two kinds of love. No wait, three. Familial love, friendship love, and relationship love. I count us lucky to have two out of the three. Thank God for those two. And thank God you're girls, or this would sound so totally gay. :D
Ciao guys, and to the girl i missed out on.. I hope he gives you a Valentines you deserve, and beyond that, the life you desire. I won't stop kicking myself for a long time from now. Love.